Friends and all...

How I miss my MiMi...

But you know what? In fact, I find that this is pretty good training for me in case we don't work out for the future.

Bike is out of surgery... Going to pick it up tomorrow. Me still only in Day 2 of recovery. By Thurs if things doesn't get better, I'll have to get more medical leave. *Yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* But most probably I'll get better by then lar...

Reading so many blogs these few days, which includes me sleeping at only bout 3-4a.m. and waking up at those unearthly hours... I feel so much for so many things, but yet I can't comprehen my own feelings, thoughts and problems. What the hell right?? =)

I'm so confused and alone. I don't feel like sleeping cause there's no one to sleep with me, no one to keep me warm, no SMS to look forward when I'm up, no motivation to work, no one with me... The last time I cried was after the confrontation with the taxi driver. I really cried my heart out.

I was going thru some of my friends' friendster account. MiMi's friends' girlfriends seems so close. They seems to be such great friends even though they only know each other thru their boyfriends. I also know them thru my boyfriend. But how come I don't quite get along with them? Am I such an outcast in wherever I go?

They will still hang out without the boyfriends around. They will call and talk on the phone. They will ask each other out for clubbing. They talk to each other!! But I'm not "invited" and I really don't like this kind of feeling. It's really pulling me down each time they message me to ask if I want to join them last minute. I rather they don't message me at all.

It's not as if I never put in any effort to be "pally" with them. I message them if they want to go out for dinner. Well, if I'm lucky enough, 1 or 2 of them will reply. But most of the time, they don't even reply back and come up with any execuses.

I'm feeling pretty drained out to having cope with such interpersonal problems at work and with my personal life... Yet MiMi is not doing anything.

Does he know exactly how I feel? I really doubt so. He got more important things in his own life rather than to having to take care of mine. I doubt he still care about me at all.
=)